11/11/14

Mortal lover, My youth

November 2014

I felt adulthood approaching
How for long hours have i pondered upon
pages of life that had long gone.

My childhood was occupied by absurdities.
and so, i devote my youth to self-discovery.

To them, who find it incomprehensible
Mere insanity they perceived
Morbid was the word they used to portray me
who drowns wildly in the excitement of
cherishing my mortal lover, my youth.

For no one can fathom
the joy within,
I left the endeavours to define
to myself.

Before youth fades
and leaves me nothing
but wrinkles and the memories of joy of yesterday(s),
Let me live my days of youth
according to my will.
-Helaria




10/22/14

The art of intrusion

 October 2014

Illustration "Wandering Star" by Audrey Kawasaki

Your phantom haunted
in the midnight hours
While I pondered deeply
 And not so long until curiosity creeped in

From what i heard
You've been well entertained 
by the parade of temporary pleasures
trying to put you under their spells

If my only way to you 
is through the illusion of intimacy 
Tell me how I should  pry
Into your small hours of secrecy. 
-Helaria 

8/21/14

Untitled

July 2014


I've been dreaming about heaven and hell,
Has someone been trying to ring my alarm bell?
How one sometime wish she could tell,
When one's time to say farewell.

If life is supposed to be an Enigma
I pray to God for no trauma.
For lately, I have been living my days,
Without sun rays.

Nothing fears me more
Than the thoughts of tomorrow.
Never thought life could feel this sore,
 Oh, How I long to be freed from my sorrow!
-Helaria




Je m'en remets à Toi

1965
The first two verses of "Je m'en remets à Toi" by Jacques Brel


Pour ce qui est de vivre
Ou de ne pas vivre,
Pour ce qui est de rire,
Ou de ne rire plus,
Je m'en remets à Toi.

Illustration "B&W" by Finger & Toe

Pour ce qui est d'aimer,
Pour une part de chance,
Pour ce qui est d'espérer,
Ou de désespérance,
Je m'en remets à Toi. 
                                                          

8/9/14

"Alone"

March 17, 1829

From childhood's hour I have not been 
As others were, I have not seen 
As others saw, I could not bring 
My passions from a common spring
From the same source I have not taken 
My sorrow, I could not awaken 
My heart to joy at the same tone
And all i loved, i loved alone
Then-in my childhood in the dawn
Of a most stormy life was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still
From the torrent, or the fountain
From the red cliff of the mountain
From the sun that 'round me rolled
In this autumn tint of gold
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by
From the thunder, and the storm
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view
                                        -Edgar Allan Poe

7/13/14

Tāmaki Makaurau


12:45 AM / Auckland City, NZ

Kīa Ora, Auckland!
I am ready for the adventure! 

4/12/14

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen



"If you can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." 
This phrase was made popular by US President, Harry S. Truman that simply implies if you can not cope, you should leave the work to someone who can. 
At first when i was bumped into this phrase, 2 years ago, i was certain that 
this is a perfect defense brought up by "some people", so then they can flee from their responsibility.

I totally ignored the fact that some people have limits. 

My old elementary school friend totally quitted her study she's been doing for almost 3 years, after she broke up with her boyfriend. 
I won't lie, but that still sounds completely like a joke to me.  

But, once again, i ignored the fact that some people's capabilities are not the same as ours. 

A couple of weeks ago, i encountered something that brought me back again to this Truman's phrase which in the end takes me into a conclusive interpretation of his phrase. 

Not everybody can understand what truman understood. Everybody has his/her own capabilities, and if they are faced by certain situations might trigger them to either give up or commit suicide. (limit)
What Truman understood was, people had limit and he did not want to push people to their limits. 

Perhaps, i was too cocky to accept the fact that we are all human beings who were born with limitations.
Or 
Perhaps, i was just too arrogant to say the words "I can't bear it anymore" 



 Illustration by Alexa Chung.